Poetry

Things I've Learnt At 41

When lost, STOP
And ask a policeman the way

When strapped
You can make out a cheque for cash
At a Bureau de Change
Three days before pay day

Always buy cheap umbrellas

A hypochondriac and a fitness fanatic should not go away together

Black bin liners can come in handy
When moving in a hurry

When a driver asks you to navigate
As you approach a roundabout
Be sure to know the right Exit

Sex can be complicated with the recently widowed 

Even a Chinese takeaway
Leaves washing up

Gripping television does not combine with a weak bladder

Try to be ten minutes early for funerals

Tubes going in to someone on a hospital bed
Are nothing to be afraid of
And need not stop you from
Kissing their forehead

Don’t let the sun come up on your wrath

The fatter you are
The harder it is
To pull up your socks

Men living alone over forty are more likely to have
A stroke

It’s more difficult to tell someone
You love them
When they’re gone

A cheese sandwich before bed
Might give you nightmares

When lost, STOP
And ask a policeman the way